Monday, October 7, 2024

Temptation Island, Report Cards: Alfred, Follies à Deux (rating 0), Titty Burns the Ring (rating 8)

Date:

toGrace Sambrona

The new episode of Deer’s reality show on Canale 5 is unreal: Titi throws into the fire the ring with which her boyfriend Antonio proposed to her, Alfred mistakes the village for the filming location of a hardcore film, and Diandra and Valerio break up because he wants to go to Brindisi

Titi throws the ring into the fire, “It disgusts me!”: Rating 8

We’re not exaggerating: not even Tolkien wrote anything as epic as this. Perhaps because Tolkien, at most, wrote in Elvish and never wrote in the strict Neapolitan language, as far as we know. But let’s get to the story, this supplier of emotions: Titi is a desperate friend. Her partner and fiancé Antonio completely forgot about her as soon as she set foot on the reality show (“We have to get married in two years, he saw a donkey and forgot all about it!”). Antonio is infatuated with the seductress Sarita, in fact he woos her and enacts scenes of jealousy if she allows herself to talk to others. We are led to believe that this second thing, for him, is also part of “courtship.” Titi, for her part, continues to fan the flames of confrontation in which the criminal does not appear. “I’m at the point where it disgusts me,” she passionately comments on another video of the infidel forced to suffer. A litany of complaints about what a bad time it was: “He ruined me. As soon as I got here I didn’t want to take off my swimsuit because he was always telling me I was fat, that I had a belly. One time he humiliated me by phoning his mother because I didn’t know how to make meatballs.” In memory of the aforementioned meatballs, apparently the ultimate crime, Titi takes the “eighteen-euro” ring that her partner had improvised for her for a proposal in Paris and throws it into the bonfire: “For me, it’s no longer like that!” Worth anything, like him! The flames turn green, like her finger because the priloco was cheap and her skin changes color. This is great, great cinema.

Valerio chooses Brindisi between Brindisi and Diandra: vote 4

“I’m not the type of person who breaks chairs, but I did it because she knows how to provoke me.” He looks like the classic forty-year-old man having a violent midlife crisis that could be found in any Gabriele Muccino film. Maybe also because he always dresses like a rich man. However, Valerio is a lifelong civil servant, working six hours a day and coming home already very tired. If he can boast of “thousand euro” worth of suits, it is thanks to his entrepreneurial friend Diandra, who has maintained a very high standard of living for both of them for seven and a half years, working from morning until evening. In the past four months, the woman has also opened a business, with a little help from her parents, and wants to repay the loan to her parents as soon as possible. Diandra’s commitments take time for Valerio who, in the meantime, absolutely wants her to give up everything to move from Rome to Brindisi where he will finally be able to fulfill his dream of living in a house by the sea (and being closer to his family). It’s clear that Diandra doesn’t accept either/or with her partner and that’s why the two find themselves on Temptation Island. So neither in Rome nor in Brindisi, anyway. At the confrontation fires he requested, they try in vain to find a rendezvous point. For Valerio, “interest is like gasoline and fuel, and I have been in reserve for seven years.” Anyway, it’s been seven years, and she points to him kindly, on 50-meter boats, washing bowls of champagne, dressed very well. We dare add seven years spent snooping around. They decide to leave the program separately, but, without even having time to breathe a sigh of relief, the writing appears on the overlay: “Their journey inside Temptation Island is not over yet.” If Diandra falls in love again, her love life will be completely bankrupt.




















































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Diandra Proud, “I’m Like Champagne”: Rating 8+

She may not be nice, but she is a concrete, stubborn and responsible person. In “Temptation Island” Diandra manages to do something that has never been done before, perhaps: think before speaking. When she sees Valerio flirting with a seductress out of spite, she sits and breathes without saying a word “because at this moment I won’t be objective.” However, the point is his self-criticism, even this very rare beast within the program: “I want to start with my shortcomings – he expects when he is still in the village of girlfriends – I certainly gave him a little time and attention, when he asked me to dinner and I always preferred to take him “To dance with my friends, and I wasn’t there as much as I should have been.” Then, looking at the sandwich-and-wine-based “external” figure, in which the criminal indulges on the seaside with a blonde girl, he comments with a wonderful epitaph: “They didn’t bring him champagne. They did it.” Because the champagne is from Diandra.” Diandra is totally bubbly and seeing her cry over a little man like that is heartbreaking. He even asked her to “quietly” return the money her parents loaned her for the new business “because we should enjoy it.” Basically this guy is Scabies and Lice “I live a very stressful life, but I chose it this way and I’m okay with it. Some evenings are harder because things may not be going the way they should, and I feel anxious. When that happened, he was never supportive. He said to me: Look, look at the mess you made! You have destroyed us! And I was worse than that.” So Valerio, in addition to not kissing her elbows and thanking his gods for the good fortune of having her by her side, was also in the habit of burying her when necessary. A true hero, a panacea, how can you deprive yourself of it?

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Alfred, Folie à Deux! With Sofia he is on the set of a hardcore movie: rating 0

“Folie à Deux” is the title of the sequel to the Oscar-winning film “Joker.” The Academy will excuse us if we mention it in this sanitation context. But it makes sense because “common psychotic disorder – yes, it sounds better in French – consists of the transfer of delusional and/or abnormal behavior from a primary state (“inducer”) to a secondary state (“inducer”). Now, between her friend Alfred and the seductress Sofia, Born to seduce with the dedication of a true workaholic, it’s not entirely clear which of them pushes the other to do more dirty things, but certainly both are unaware of where they are, and even after the cameras are blinded by the other’s sight, they must be mutually convinced that they are on a film set Hardcore movie. So she went and went to bring him breakfast, half-naked, shouting, “Hey, room service has arrived!” Neither of them ate, and they immediately ended up rolling over in bed, even on the deck chair in the outdoor garden, with a towel to cover them Their stuck bodies. At one point, she posed disdainfully with her skirt “which I don’t even know where it is anymore” because Alfred didn’t physically put it away, as the witch had wished. “I can’t do that because I feel sorry for my girlfriend’s parents, but I really love you,” she said. Villain Ensures Meanwhile, the aforementioned friend, Anna, sees this slow-motion Kama Sutra developing more and more vulgar from one video to the next, and begs Bissiglia not to show it to her again, before finding herself faced with the baby’s first ultrasound scan. Which these two would have conceived. There is little doubt that Alfred considers himself invincible because he has managed, albeit with difficulty, to keep it in his trousers. As if he believed that within that filthy threshold, there could be no question of ‘treason’. As for his partner, she has a different opinion, and when she sees him kissing Sophia, the fire of confrontation is ignited, “Immediately! Now!” He will come. She angrily promised to blast the “Maracanã rave” in his face. We count on him a lot.

Anna’s Broken Heart: Rating: 8.5

“I don’t care, I have to get out now, right away!” Anna no longer has any inhibitions when she is faced with a video of her friend Alfred kissing the seductive Sofia. Not that these two have been taking it lightly yet, as they imitate practically any pose from the Kama Sutra in her face — and we think they’re inventing new ones, too. “I’m no longer a princess, in the fire I’ll lose all my elegance and femininity, I don’t care, he’ll see the mess I’ve made, he’ll do the biggest shit of his life!” he promised Anna, in addition to enduring this constant difficult movie between the supposed friend and the temptress she has known for five years. Minutes later, the girl hears the villain reveal the only reason he hasn’t left her yet: he feels sorry for her parents, such good people who welcomed him into the family as a son, what a heart of gold Alfred has, when he wants to be truly grateful for the in-laws Next to whom a heralded misfortune must happen: Meanwhile, Anna, hurt and forgotten, goes mad: first she laughs, then she cries, then she takes on a frightening tone that even Don Vito Corleone in The Godfather tries to calm her down, promising revenge of proportions Equal to Egypt’s eleven blows. In the end, it’s only his broken heart that he’s talking about. It’s really painful to even see. Why didn’t you ask for the fire of confrontation first and instead chose to torture yourself until this moment? You see how far he can go, perhaps, but unfortunately, it’s also not self-love.

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Antonio throws chairs in the air, he is jealous of everyone: Voice 1

He only got away with a zero on his report card because Alfred managed to do what was worse, which was to mate with a seductress. But Antonio, Titi’s friend and fiancé, challenges us in every episode to dig out of the abyss of infinite negative numbers that mathematics possesses. Even Sarita, the girl he is infatuated with, disgusts him: she reminds him that he is busy, and he distances himself as much as he can. But, in the end, she has to work and try to put on a few smiles for the occasion, while finding it as pleasant as the phone call from the accountant in June. He is jealous of her, who “shouldn’t talk to any other man or she won’t respect him,” and demands that their relationship be “mutual” and not one-way. Because he likes her, she must reciprocate. There are no alternatives. Meanwhile, in the village of friends, Titi finds little desire to live again, and after throwing the fake ring the little man asked her to marry into the fire, she talks to the temptress Eduardo on the beach. Seeing these pictures, which are considered very innocent, Antonio does not feel uncomfortable in front of Peccilia. However, once he returns to the village, he explodes with rage: punching a tree trunk, upending the pillows, and throwing the innocent deck chair upside down. With what barbaric courage we ask ourselves? He had been feeling fine for weeks. He is jealous of everyone, and in this way he does not love anyone. There is no place in his heart but “mixed sushi”.

October 2, 2024

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