Jan Deeds, director of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln Women's Center, talks with a student Monday afternoon at the Nebraska Union, where the group sponsored a display as part of Week Without Violence. Photo: Kelli Sajevic, NewsNetNebraska
Ashley was stuck in a sexually abusive relationship in high school, and even though it's been four years, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln student said she has not yet recovered.
Ashley said she thought the abuse was her fault. She felt trapped. She felt alone.
Today, the junior international studies major said she still struggles to cope. And although she wants to share her story, she asked that her last name not be used because she's still dealing with the painful experience.
Ashley is one of many who have suffered abuse in a dating relationship. UNL police officer Jim Davis said that reported cases of domestic violence increase every year on campus. In 2008, 26 cases were reported.
Nationally, 32 percent of college students report dating violence by a previous partner, and 21 percent by a current partner, according to the National Center for Victims of Crime.
To raise awareness and let victims know that help is available, the UNL's Women's Center is hosting Week Without Violence, which started Monday and continues through Friday. Click here to see a list of this week's events. The event is held in October because it is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Public awareness may be working. Jan Deeds, who directs both Student Involvement and the Women's Center, said she thinks more victims are finding the courage to report the abuse. Some, however, still have a difficult time coming forward.
University of Nebraska-Lincoln student Adrienne Lemmer traces her hand Monday as as part of pledge for Week Without Violence. The display, at the Nebraska Union, is part of several activities sponsored by the UNL Women's Center. Photo: Kelli Sajevic, NewsNetNebraska
"Victims are always told that it is their fault so it's rather discouraging for them to talk about their experience," Deeds said.
Ashley said she also felt like she couldn't tell anyone about her abusive relationship, not even her family.
Signs of an abusive relationship aren't always obvious, authorities say. Some signs include humiliation, fear criticism, physical abuse, forcing sexual intimacy and controlling behavior.
"We were taught that it's not violence unless there is a bruise," Deeds said. "But most victims suffer more from psychological abuse, and that is considered abuse."
UNL offers a free confidential program to help counsel anyone who was or is currently being abused. Voices of Hope encourages victims to report their abuse cases to the police to stop abusers from harming anyone else.
Davis said UNL police understand the hesitancy of victims to speak with authorities about abusive relationships.
"We are often looked upon as not being approachable, but we want people to come forth and report their incident," Davis said. "We want to put a stop to abuse."
"Even if you don't report it, talk to somebody," he said. "We want to make sure that everyone is getting help."
Once she came to UNL, Ashley said she realized that helpful resources were available. She was grateful to find help and support at the Women's Center. Since talking to a psychologist and her family, she said she is slowly healing from her experience.
This is the sixth year the Women's Center is hosting the Week Without Violence event, and the group's goal is for people to stand up against violence and to make people more aware of their own relationships.
Ashley received support at UNL -- and she wants everyone to know that support is available.
"If I got help, so can anyone else who asks for it," she said.
To report a case of domestic violence, or any type of violence, contact the Voices of Hope Victim Advocate 24-hour help line at 402-472-0203, or contact the police.
Brady Usher, men's outreach and education coordinator for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln Women's Center, stands in front of a display where people are encouraged to sign a pledge to use their hands, voices and minds to promote saftey -- not violence. The display, at the Nebraska Union, is part of the center's Week Without Violence. Photo: Kelli Sajevic, NewsNetNebraska
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